Vraja Journal Yoga

Traits of a healthy relationship – Deny sensual desire or immersion?

Traits of a healthy relationship: Who is not curious to know exactly What does this mean? To find the secrets and add to my toolbox labeled "the traits of a healthy relationship," I am not in the deep to deny the desire – in a silent meditation retreat in 10 days – and deeply immersed in sensual – a lounge sensual collective based in San Francisco and New York.

It's noon and I just ate my last meal of the day.

I have been in force for the first bell rang at 4:00 am. Now, walking without a word in this way, and is used in the fields of grass in the Vipassana Meditation Center in Shelburne, in Massachusetts, look at the bottom of the eight hours of meditation more still to come, even though it will move arms or legs, no eyes, no matter how my body or spirit of the protests. And this is only day 2, 10.

I'm in a silent meditation retreat in 10 days, learning the practice of Dharma, which is what the Buddha taught after informed. These are the traits of a healthy relationship – with a mind of your own! You know how it goes: we find something good and want it immediately, we find something wrong and immediately his displeasure. Basically, the practice of meditation is to transcend this cycle of greed and hatred – and suffering so much. And if we sit down, develop awareness of feelings refined body and serenity of mind development. We note as they are, and not want to be.

At one point on the 5th, the teacher asked my group if they can to experience serenity. I have to be honest. "Look, master," I said, "I do not know what to say. My mind wanders. A lot. And I felt pain for the body and hurts me I prefer truth and ease up. I know it's a trial and a desire, but it is true. Do not feel so fair to me. "I gently put right: The question not be critical or have never mind wander. The point of equanimity that is, with all the patience and compassion of a wild animal trainer, when the sentence was lifted, when thoughts wander, and gradually bring them back.

Ah, what I can do what I can grow. I am relieved to not be perfect, but simply being compassionate unconditional thoughts and feelings, no matter where they roam or storms that I am "and this is one of the secrets the real enjoyment and satisfaction in life? To keep the love, compassion and kind to yourself and others, against a storm?

I have a couple of hours per day that are not dedicated to meditation, and my thoughts are clear and fluids. I think a lot of things (including my Marketing Plan and ice cream), but especially the link between spirituality and sexuality. Under the microscope of my research and experience, these two seemingly opposite way that runs along the same path until viscous routine: desire. How many times We have heard that the ending of desire is the means to alleviate suffering and achieve enlightenment?

In section, healthy relationships in my place I mean the seemingly opposite ways of peace and joy in life and relationships: the pain and suffering, sexuality and spirituality, the nature of mind abundance and scarcity vs.

A few days after his return, I share my thoughts and questions with Nicole Daedone, founder of One Taste in San Francisco are lighting spirit and desire are compatible? She is a woman who has dedicated his life to research and provide the characteristics of a healthy relationship – whether with himself, with others and the divine. She says she can not exist in the same space.

Since there is nothing to transcend and since, as the Vedic Tantra (and others, course), argue that we are divine, the divine expresses itself through our lives, bodies and thoughts, then no place is divine. Includes children at our stage of desire and sensuality.

Inspired by the thought of Nicole, I asked more about their business. The flavor is a community learning center dedicated to life in full, in the heat of non-theoretical, the practical experience of sensuality, connection and intimacy. Although started in San Francisco, the taste is in its second market in New York. Operating from the Center for Point of Nolita, which offer 7-8 week events, organic meals, guest lectures and workshops as "group" – the experience, information sessions.

Nicole comes from a wonderfully wide and deep in the semantics, Theosophy and Buddhism and was something of his life's work and expression would be by Buddhism and celibacy, when it was called the world of sensuality. "Celibacy has been wonderful and relaxing" said. "It was a great trip without moving, without being constantly turned on and enabled." But at some point she realized she knew who she was in an environment very controlled, within the limits of his monastery mind. It was easy to be isolated and celibacy, but wanted to know who she was when she fell into a field not Then known and annoying inches has a flavor of the day.

"If they were not screwing around sex and sensuality, was so woven into our culture and the body of the Earth in a healthy way, "he said," I do not work with her. I'm interested in what is compensated. "Sex and sensuality are not important as our other issues, just that it became malformed demons hidden parts of ourselves, dictate less on the merits.

The taste is the center many things, including Urban Monk, a residential immersion program sensual yoga classes a day, organic food, massage, sensual coach, training and several conferences and workshops. But what the flavor is rich, the study and practice of OM – Orgasmic Meditation – even in your bones. In Nicole's experience and research, orgasm and meditation are both awareness of the same energy, orgasm is only one nuclear, where the energy of meditation is to 1, that orgasm is more like a level 10. Nicole said: "The study of orgasm is very similar to meditation, but it is a little harder. Meditation and orgasm are two ways movements that wrinkle. After orgasm, you must put aside all the formulas and methods. The orgasm takes you where you want and you spit on the path to safe, well light, is almost as out of control involuntary, since you can get. "

Nicole wanted to know who she was when was the increase in involuntary part-up, I had when I was established, it would be. He argues many Buddhists offers a translation for the cessation of desire based on the innate fear This body culture and gender. Nicole decided to see what happened when she leaves her body and the desire to have free rein, and confidence was strong enough to self-correct. "The desire I still governs until her face to explore sensuality and orgasm, "says Nicole." Then I could move the desire for choice rather than have intimidated me. Now I can sit in the room with the desire, but have no reaction. "Navigating the terrain of desire can be a rich way of surrender. Desire often requires an immediate reward, but also can teach us, following his leadership in the unexplored parts of ourselves, the degree of maturity and how appreciate this is not just what they want to be.

Similar to the practice of meditation I bathed in 10 days, following the sensuality is the point of observing who you are, not only that you think you are, or if you want to be. It becomes the party with resistance and study each mutant strain resistance as a Scientific happy. It can be a relief to stop worrying about doing things, or stay clean while doing so, and dirty and making mistakes is part of the excitement. "A Following sensuality is like going from the suburbs of the city's spirit of mind there is no insulation in this place, but if the food supply directly from life without nothing between you and her. This is not that sex is "weak" is misunderstood and rejected, but because it requires a keen sense to play with him is one of high sensory field more than look the other way instead of spending it directly, "says Nicole.

It's part of me that has often felt like the simplicity of monastic life. Since then cure me of this yearning for six in the day. However, the ninth day, we found the last piece of technology: Metta, translated free good. All nine days of incredible hard dollars there to experience this membrane compassion for all beings – as well as my own mind and body drunk monkey unpredictable. And long after the end of 10 (as I expected my ball like ice cream), goodness is still lodged securely in my heart and body.

Much of my work in couples therapy to help people to get their version of a journey made regularly and follow the gentle animal's body and heart to find their own way. There is no one formula for creating a successful relationship, there is a model of how love, no standard for truly enjoy life. It is only our very own, unique way, forged in the fire and make mistakes in the crucible of our own experience.

The desire has to be overcome, but not followed blindly without understanding or maturity. We are often so busy trying to correct the fact that the desire is there, as it indicates that if we split, rather than recognize it as another field to play in. The goal is ultimately no more than the desire to achieve a pure plane, but to be healthy and integrated with the desire, sex and sensuality so are the creatures are no longer under the bed. The goal is to reach half of his life as a rebel, unpredictable and chaotic as can be, and love and love unconditionally.

Then the only questions that remain are that we have the courage to take action a life for us to investigate all aspects of ourselves – as we really are, not what we want to be? Can you turn a light on our unconditional love tight spaces, can we go for a walk and let the light of Flash? And you can we also have with them to get where they are, with soft reassuring knowledge that nowhere is the divine can not be?

"You will not be good.

You just let the soft animal of your body love what it wants. "

~ Mary Oliver

About the Author

LiYana Silver, creatrix of
http://www.ReDefiningMonogamy.com
, works with couples and women to step out of painful relationship ruts into extraordinary, satisfying co-created partnerships – coloring both in and outside the lines of traditional monogamy. LiYana is a teacher, counselor, speaker and writer

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